I grew up in a conservative Catholic family, thinking that going to church and knowing biblical stories would allow me to go to heaven. I remember sitting in the front when I went to church with my parents on Sundays, asking the sisters why the moon was following me and watching people receive communion. At that point in my life, all I thought about communion was they put food into your mouth. My parents later sent me to a Christian elementary school for its academic reputation, but little did I know that God was already planting a seed in my heart.
I have always believed in a greater source of power, but the search for the one true God has not been an easy one. Ironically, the path was even bumpier when everything else in life seemed to be going so smoothly. My achievements led to my big-headedness, particularly after I was voted by my peers and teachers to be the most popular graduate in 6th grade. I graduated as a top student, and my parents were so happy that I felt that all I had to do in life was to get good grades and be successful. A major point in my life was when I moved to Canada with my father’s company in seventh-grade. In a few months, I went from being the most popular student in school to the most bullied outcast. I turned bitter, isolated, pessimistic and more focused on academics than ever, because that was the last achievement I could hang on to.
While finally settling down in Canada with a few Christian friends in my cell group, I continued to excel in school, but I also began to question the purpose of my academic achievements when I could not bring my physical achievements to the grave.
The second major move in my life was when my family was blessed with the chance to move to the United States in my junior year in high school. I was overwhelmed by academic stress, college applications, which included an SAT component that was unheard of to me at that time. The first day of school, I remember meeting my first friend in the US, a Christian who encouraged me to go to Christian club meetings. In these meetings, I caught a small glimpse of what God can do, but I was not convicted until I went to the Christian camp after graduation from high school.
Then freshmen year at Cal hit, and the competition consumed me doubly much. A few weeks after school started, September 11th hit. It was incredibly humbling to me, because God became so real to me! I finally realized how small and how finite I was. I always thought I had a lot of time ahead of me to do what I wanted to do, but I had to face the fact that I am not in control of my future. Even though I am not in control, God is, and His plan is “good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2).
The moment I truly accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Savior and decided to follow Jesus all of my days, my fears and burdens were lifted off. I am very thankful for God’s love and gentleness. God has blessed me with many brothers and sisters in Crossroads and CFC, whom always encourage, challenge and spur me on when I feel that I cannot continue the race anymore.
One of the biggest outward changes my friends saw in me is my attitude toward life. I remember walking into organic chemistry lab every Friday worrying about everything in life and declaring to others that “I am doomed.” After learning to not worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34) and to rely on God’s grace, I stopped saying that, not because I purposely restrained myself from saying that, but because I learned to be thankful and give God praise for every experience, every friend, every little thing I can do to give Him all the glory.
God is a holy God, and the fact that He sent His only son, Jesus, to die on the cross for undeserving sinners like me, amazes me with love. Over the years, God’s love, God’s patience, God’s infinite grace have touched me in so many ways. I will stand firm forever and be willing to move my feet when God wants me to. As a science major, I have the privilege to see God’s wonderful creations with my own eyes, and I will always marvel at the Creator and all His awesome creations. God is loving, and He allows us to have a relationship with Him through Jesus. I know that I am a precious child of God as I learned from one Sunday sermon, “How much you value something is determined by how much you are willing to pay for it. Think of how much you are worth: your value is determined by Christ on the cross.” In retrospect, all the detour paths I have taken to reach God seemed bumpy, but God has shown me how simple it really is: Just put your faith in Jesus, because Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life! (John 14:6)
Posted by Admin in My Story